Comeback: Girl’s Day’s “Expect” / “Expectation”

This music video is a travesty.

It is really hard for something to be both boring and really unlikeable at the same time, but I think “Expect” has succeeded in this regard. The trick is to use a bunch of K-pop clichés, but also use them very ham-handedly like this video has. Add in a really poorly choreographed and executed dance routine and you have yourself a recipe for FAILURE. Literally. (Spoiler alert: I gave the video an F, and everyone knows my opinion matters a lot to Korean entertainment executives, so don’t take this lightly.)

Let’s start with the dance. The choreography is full of “sexy” moves that manage to be trite and tacky at the same time. Oh, you’re sitting on the ground caressing your legs! How arousing for the men it must be, and how creative! Oh, you’re… snapping your suspenders! How… sexy?

Teach me to be this cool!

Teach me to be this cool!

Really though. Suspenders? Is this the 1990’s? Also, let’s note the awkward way that the girls are dancing. If you want the choreography to be sexy, the dancers at least need to be able to sell it. Instead, they’re wooden and a little herky-jerky:

SEX. APPEAL.

SEX. APPEAL.

All of this lends itself to an incredibly pointless, monotonous, and even uncomfortable music video. It doesn’t help, either, that the song is just a yawn. It’s not painful to listen to (but it’s close), because otherwise it wouldn’t have been released, but it’s horribly boring and nothing progresses except sometimes the drums become louder and more frequent. I absolutely hate the buildup to the chorus, which is both repetitive and dissonant, and sort of aurally mimics a mental progression into violent hysterics. (Maybe that’s just me, though.)

Furthermore, the plot of the music video and song are both really depressing. The music video is essentially sexy dancing + they have problems with this dude who has been texting another chick. I can’t read Korean so I have no idea what the text string displayed in the music video says, but I imagine it’s also equally hamhanded. Something like: “I love you! I hate my girlfriend. I hope she doesn’t read this, omg wouldn’t that be awkward lol guess ill jus leave this phone here in plain sight”. Very smooth, Don Lothario.

He may look sweet, but he's a serial other-girl-texter.

He may look sweet, but he’s a serial other-girl-texter.

So what’s the solution to this heartwrenching problem? DAZZLE HIM WITH YOUR SEXINESS. Yes, that’s right girls, to solve a man’s infidelity all you have to do is make him like you more. It’s completely foolproof. I know this is what they were talking about, because Loen has so very kindly provided us with the subtitles to the music video:

“But the texts you send hiding from me makes me wonder… Cutely, Prettily, I’ll make you come to me.” OK. Let’s get this straight. He’s texting another girl, so to keep him from doing this you’re going to reward him for that behavior by ramping up your romantic advances. Just because you are pretty doesn’t mean he will face any repercussions for talking to other pretty girls. In fact, the more he talks to them, it seems the harder you will try. So this is like a foolproof plan for him to get you to like him even more. (Note: a lot of guys do this. Have you ever watched VH1?)

“There are so many men waiting for me. Why do I wait for your call stupidly, like a fool? I am like a fool.” Wow. A moment of self-realization? Are you seeing the mistakes of your ways and realizing that there are plenty of other fish in the sea? Or maybe –

“…Cutely, Prettily, I’ll make you come to me.” NO! I THOUGHT WE WERE MAKING PROGRESS, GIRL’S DAY!

VIDEO: F

SONG: C. D if you factor in any understanding of the lyrics.

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